Let them dance... they are in a builiding, accompanied by teachers and other adults. They can't exactly have sex when they are supervised. Let them express themselves on the dance floor.. it just might keep them from expressing themselves under the covers. On the issue of letting alumni attend dances and other kids from other schools: I disagree. They don't need to be there, nor do they belong. It may cause more problems than grinding. Sounds like just another way to make money

Perhaps more parents should volunteer to attend one of these school dances and witness these "dance styles" for themselves. I would personally take exception to any boy "grinding" his genital area against any part of my teen daughters body. Why does a "dance" excuse this type of behavior? Would a parent allow it to occur in their living room? How about in your daughters bedroom? Schools don't allow kissing in school but we allow the grinding of genitalia? What's wrong with this picture?

I'm 68 and my wife turns 65 this week-end. We're going out for dinner and then we're going to find a bar with live music and do a little grinding ourselves!!

I don't know what the problem is here. With the Blackberries, the i-phones, the texting and sexting, the music, e-mail and video and all the other real important things in this universe, why would we complain about our teens getting excercise no matter what form it's in. It'll just take them that much longer to all become vegtables which should be a good thing!

It is not acceptable anytime, anywhere. Period. It just gets the juices flowin' and they'll be banging each other soon after. If you don't want to get burned, don't play with fire. Sex is designed for use exclusively between a man and a woman within the bonds of marriage. Think otherwise? Ask Tiger Woods what he now thinks...

I think the Rock (alias rocstr) needs a little grinding..............to his personality.

This blatantly sexual behavior has no place in school, be it extracurricular activity or not. There are plenty of ways to express oneself w/o rubbing up against someone. My daughter's Middle School has a policy strictly banning this, which is the right thing to do. For parents that think that sending the message that this kind of dancing is "fine", host the party at YOUR own house, with kids from families who share your opinions on the acceptability of this

I knew we shouldn't have allowed Elvis and that whole Rock and Roll thing ... god forbid!

"Grinding" is not dancing. Even if it was, a high school dance is not a place to simulate sex. There are plenty of fun forms of dance, from Hip Hop to the Lindy Hop, that won't encourage teenage pregnancies at the end of the night. Perhaps our schools could teach kids how to dance for real in phy-ed rather than let them think with their genitals and do whatever dance results. Is this asking too much?

If you analyze the State Statutes and the various degrees of sexual assault you will find many areas of the body are protected. It is a fact that making intentional contact with one's genitalia with another person (grinding) is a violation of the state statute. That said, this problem is common in many High Schools.

They grew up watching it on TV, you didn't turn it off, they're just emulating what they saw. The horse is out of the barn, to late, let em dance.

Hey Jack, You might take exception to it but I bet your daughter loves it!

Just because we want to dance this way doesn't mean it's bad. There's nothing we do on the dance floor you can't see in an R-rated film--it's not like we're getting naked or anything. Besides, all this is about is old people forgetting to have a little fun. Everyone simulates things when they're dancing they want to do later.

O the problems we have in the suburbs... MPS is giving out condoms and we can't even let our kids dance the way they want.

Parents are only allowed for a very limited time at our high school dances. They are not allowed to be chaperones.

What a bunch of prudes in Meno Falls...... let em grind for crying out loud. Must be a bunch of inhibited old farts at those schools. im 50 and i love to grind.

And we wonder why so many teenagers are involved with sex, sexting and drugs. Everybody is doing it so it must be ok. WRONG ANSWER. Anyone who thinks genitial grinding is ok at a school function needs their heads examined. We are talking about a lot of 14, 15 and 16 year old kids here participating in this. They are just kids mind you. You want to booze it up and grind all night long go ahead and find a venue that encourages that but not a school or a school function. I have seen grinding at school dances and it makes all the chaperons very uncomfortable. Why is that? Because you are chaperoning MINORS who are RUBBING their GENITIAL against EACH OTHER, AT SCHOOL.

I wish that was around when I was in school!

Absolutely something that should be banned. This was a practice that was prohibited when I was in school, and for good reason. These are still children. Groping one another on the dance floor shouldn't be a practice that is allowed at a school sanctioned function - or anywhere, for that matter. Why do some thing it's okay to push discipline and authority aside, just because it is unpopular?!

Jack hit the nail on the head! Parents should be MADE to attend...as volunteers or chaperons…to see what is going on. I remember that as a kid, we would pull stuff, but if EVER we would see our parents, or one of our friend’s parents who might get back to mine about something we were doing, we’d cool it. It’s easy to act stupid in front of your friends…and try new things. Not so often though, when you might be found out. I like how some schools require parents to do a certain number of things at the schools their children attend each semester. Not only does it help out at the school, but it also gives parents an idea of how things work…or don’t work!

Whether or not you agree with the behavior, the district has no business legislating moral/immoral behavior. If you let them start here, where will it end? Learning of appropriate or inappropriate behavior begins in the home. If you can't trust your child enough to make these judgements, you shouldn't expect someone else to monitor their behavior for you.

If you want the kids to stop this, all you have to do is have a dozen or so adults and faculty join them on the dance floor doing the same type of "grinding" they are doing. The kids will be horrified. "Grinding" would go out of style faster than the "Macarena".

To the kid in the article who tried hard to defend his "I'm not grinding sexually" skit: Right. If you aren't thinking about it when grinding, the dance you are imitating was creating by someone who sure the heck was.

I did not say I was not grinding sexually, I said, ""When I'm grinding, I'm not trying to be sexual,...It's the way I dance, and have danced, since 9th grade." There is a huge difference between something looking very sexual, and being very sexual. I promise that most of the kids are not taking their dates home, and having sex. Dancing is something that is, and always will be, something intimate, and the way dancers show that intimacy, is always changing, and throughout time, has been criticized i.e. 1987's Dirty Dancing. Intimacy and sex are two very different things. On a side note, I wish our school would focus less time on the way we dance, and try and fix the huge theft, respect, and drug problem that our school is facing. It would be a lot better use of time, and energy, and would have a much larger impact on the quality of our educations, and lives.

Our society has become oversexed and violent over the last 50 years, and I'd say it's due to the effect of TV bringing so much trash into our homes. Parents accept this crud without a second thought, and teenagers are immoral beyond belief. It's no wonder that God is allowing us to go down the drain. I can't help but wonder why San Francisco isn't leveled like Haiti? I know...I'm going to be called a crackpot by some...but I know the truth and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. We are lovers of money and stuff, and we want the government (that's us folks!) to pay our bills so we can waste the rest on junk made in China.

Oh get over it! People should take all of their anger towards this issue and put it toward something that really counts, like maybe the drug and theft probems we have at MFHS. Are you trying to tell me that you were all the perfect kids when you were young? Grinding is a form of dancing, get with the new generation! And for those of you that don't know, grinding and sex are two different things. And no, grinding doesn't lead to sex. If your daughter wants to have sex with a guy she'll do it no matter they were grinding before hand or not.

Right - because if kids don't grind at school dances, they won't have any interest in sex when they leave the school. Do most people forget what it's like to be a teenager? The more you try to tell them to NOT do something, the more likely they are to do it behind your back. How about educating our kids to be respectful, responsible, productive members of society and stop worrying about this kind of crap.

Too many are making excuses for the actions of these teens - "it's the way they dance", "it's not sexual", "get with the new generation". Once they're comfortable touching each other on the dance floor, with supervision, they're more likely to explore other forms of touching without supervision. Just because this is "the way they express themselves" doesn't make it right. Read up on your history (Sodom and Gomorrah, Rome) if don't think preaching tolerance of certain behaviors effects a society.

My daughter attends North Middle School in Menomonee Falls where they held a dance in December after school. She came home talking about kids grinding at that dance. We're talking 6/7/8th graders. I have no problem with a ban on dancing. I don't care if "this is the way kids dance today". It just isn't right. I find my self strongly in favor of some type of policy defining what is and is not appropriate at the dances. Thanks you MFSD for thinking of our kids.

Madproud is correct, sorry Matt in Eagle, this is a LEGAL issue not a moral issue. Chapter 948 of the Crimes Against Children clearly states that "intentional touching, either directly or through clothing, of any body part or object, for the purpose of degrading, humiliating, or arousing or gratifying" is sexual assault. Furthermore any person responsible for the welfare of a child (the school staff and chaperones) who has knowledge of such an act and fails to take action is guilty of failure to act. Is every student engaging in "grinding" guilty of sexual assault? No, but are there students there who don't really want to get involved but don't speak up? Or, are there students who are pressured into engaging in this form of dancing? Probably. Students aren't supposed to have physical contact (hugging, kissing) at school why would it be acceptable to allow them to rub their body parts on each other just because it's a dance? The school must maintain the same standards at a dance that they do during the school day. The dance takes place on school grounds and is school supervised. Adults, go do what you want, you are an adult, but people under the age of 18 are still minors and when they are on school property they are the district's responsiblity. You don't like the rules? Don't go to the dance or keep your kids home and let them do what you want.

Oh, yeesh. Parents--if you give your kids good moral values, they can grind at a dance for fourteen hours straight and not want to go home and have sex afterwards. I graduated in 1998, went to dances as friends with my guy friends, did silly grind dancing at every one of them, and didn't sleep with anyone until well after high school was over--because my mom taught me common sense and as a result I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone in my teens. Grind dancing wasn't about being sexual, it was about being able to pretend to be grown up for an evening and having fun with friends. This issue has been up for debate for years at this point, and it still comes down to parents needing to be parents and raise responsible, intelligent teenagers.

As the Menomonee Falls School Board president, there are a few things I would like the readers to understand: 1. This discussion was not initiated by adults, but by students who want to dance and were uncomfortable with what is passing for dancing at school events. 2. Grinding has been around forever, but this is a newer style that has become increasingly popular in the last 10 years or so at high school dances. In talking to parents, they seem to have an image of grinding as the type of dancing seen in "Dirty Dancing" starring Patrick Swayze in 1987. The recent style of grinding is where the guy often doesn't need to do anything more than lean back, move his hips and hold the girl's waist or hips as she backs into him often bending forward even sometimes to the point of placing her hands on the floor - then the bumping and grinding takes place. And according to students, this is sometimes only the beginning. 3. Our police department is concerned that this new style of grinding qualifies as sexual assault. I’m concerned for so many reasons, but I do think most of our students engage in a toned down version of grinding and don’t really think of it as all that sexual - at least not any more than any other pair engaging in couples dancing from the beginning of time. It’s the most extreme, blatant examples that actually do look like a sexual act that people would like to eliminate. We have wonderful kids at Menomonee Falls High School and most of our students dance appropriately. I’m proud of them for participating on the dance committee and trying to be part of a solution that will make the dances fun for all the students.

I think banning this type of dancing is a great idea. The next step can be banning students going through puberty from having hormones, sexual thoughts, or feelings. What?!? You can't type sarcasim? Shoot.

We had that in school too, but it was called "humping". You hand out condoms, condone "grinding" and wonder why the kids kiss good night is oral sex. Wake up parents!

Rock and Roll is the Devil's Music! The Devil!!!!!!

Kathy, If not everybody is doing this so called "dirty dancing" then why is such a big deal being made? It should be no problem just asking this small group to stop or to leave then. Besides, the people doing this so called "dirty dancing" is the absolute least of the worries at the high school. Fights, theft and education are WAY more serious problems that should be cared for over something so stupid anyways. The kids are being required to pay TWENTY DOLLARS per ticket, and FOURTY per couples and are not allowed to dance the way they want? Besides, the dances are held in the cafeteria and not the gym, so the kids are pretty much squished on top of eachother anyway.

I totally agree with what others have said-- the parents need to go and chaperone these dances. I can tell you that if my parents were there-- that is the LAST way I would be dancing-- or even a mom of my friends. I wouldn't want to be called out on it! Parents don't want to get involved... that is a major issue. Many parents can't even lay down ground rules at home-- I can't imagine them showing up to chaperone dances!

Oh please.... Would you feel comfortable "grinding" in front of your little sister or your grandmother? Think about it. If you are honest, you'll admit this isn't something that's fine because everyone is doing it. There are countless other ways to dance without acting like you're animals rutting. I'd hope you would have enough respect for yourselves and for others to grow up a little. On the other hand, some of the "young ladies" I see would look just fine planted on street corners.....

Of course not. Why does this even need to be discussed. NO! End of discussion.

Some kids will test their parents and teachers to see how far they can go on just about every subject. This is not dancing. Some people take the permissive idea and say who cares let the high school kids grind. True we all have a free will and can make our own choices but kids need boundaries and parents need to get involved and say no this is wrong. Unfortunately, the Bible is no longer our moral compass in this country.

Yes I believe it should be banned. There are other ways to dance that doesn't require this. I chaperone at plenty of middle school dances and quite frankly it disgusts me. Kids today have to learn there are rules and rules they have to abide by. I think today we are allowing kids too much freedom to do what they choose and we, as adults, are almost "afraid" to hurt their feelings by telling them NO.

Let them grind and have sex on the dance floor!!!!Make a video and sell it. Good income for the school.

FANTASTIC!!! Good for you, Menomonee Falls!!!! Thank you Charlie Sykes for addressing this topic on WTMJ yesterday also. As the mother of a high school freshman I was appalled to hear what kind of so-called dancing---GRINDING---that goes on at dances. It is stunning that a parent would be okay with this--would actually defend it! And as the mother of three girls, I am really saddened to think about the messages these young girls are getting from their parents. These people need to grow up and open their eyes to what is going on. Some things belong behind closed doors--and some things are just plain inappropriate for teens, especially at a school sponsored event. These young people need to hear that they are more precious than that--they are not sex toys--where are the feminists speaking up about how the young women are being mistreated here? Since they are acting like animals I suggest perhaps dumping cold water on them might help. Stand your ground, Menomonee Falls...and I hope other districts will follow suit.

I once was a teenager and dance a little like that, but after seeing how these kids are now is kind of disturbing. I saw the "teen tent" at the Dan Jansen fest and it looked like a big orgie...they need to tone it down. Especially when there is 3 guys on a girl, that makes the gilr look trashy and the boys look controlling. Not something we should be allowing our children to do and experience. Leave it to the 21 and up when you can go to the club!

For all of those who "think" they know what "grinding" is, carefully read the school board president's post above. This is not "Footloose." It's not "Dirty Dancing." The best way to handle this issue is to film one of these dances and post the video on the school's website--for all parents to see. I can't stand Sykes, but I am with him on this one. It's not dancing. It's sex with clothes on. If you need any more convincing, youtube "grinding" some time.

To all Administrators and over protective parents, You have screwed everything up this year! congrats and I hope your reading this. I happen to be a senior at MFHS and let me say this has been the most rediculous year. From banning backpacks, to the lunch policy, and now this. Its High school, let us have fun. Banning grinding is not going to stop kids from having sex... and for all you parents that have a freshman daughter, dont let them go to the dances if its that big of a deal. shelter little Brittany from the horror of grinding, cause its gunna make her go and have sex! Dances used to be one of the best times of the year... cant wait until Nobody is at the next one!

I know Menomonee Falls was conservative, but I didn't think they supported archaic anti-free expression rules. You people that want 'griding' to be banned would probably think if Elvis was on TV shaking his hips today, you'd want that banned for its 'sexual nature' Get a fricken clue and let the students have fun. I bet it'd be easier to have fun dancing in the 3rd Reich than it would be at MFHS

So if the dancing is so inappropriate, why are officials taping it? Isn't that Child Porn??

Kids don't get pregnant by dancing at school functions. Or by wearing halter dresses. Or by bringing students from different schools. They get pregnant by irresponsible public schools and prudish parents who don't teach teenagers about having safe and responsible sex or to express themselves sexually in safe, healthy ways. It is ultimately damaging to disallow young adults from partaking in a completely safe and natural form of expression. And from experience, I know a lot more young women who were pregnant at a young age due in part to schools that offer boring and dated after school functions. If a dance isn't entertaining for students, they won't go. And if they feel their values and customs are looked down upon, they will be less likely to attend also.

They're really just having sex with their clothes on, you can't stop it, it's on TV already.

Yes. It should be banned. It's disgusting. I graduated from MFHS a few years ago and it was prevalent then, too. It's not dancing. You go back to school on Monday and you literally hear about people having sex on the dance floor. Dave, the fact that 'not everone is doing it' makes it even more of an issue for students who go to these dances and don't feel comfortable that the boy next to them has his hands up his date's dress- I've seen it happen. While MFHS definitely has its share of much bigger problems, this is one that shouldn't be overlooked in favor of them. With the recent addition of 400 students, these rules aren't meant to put a damper on fun. They were intended to keep students safe and legally intact. One last thing, the fact the the dances are held in the cafeteria is completely irrelevant to this topic. If you were to ever witness an MFHS dance in action, you would know that only about 1/6 of the cafeteria is occupied with people and the rest is empty space. Secret, while grinding doesn't always lead to sex, you can't deny that it is a sexually charged action. Like you said, if your daughter wants to have sex, she will- I won't argue that. However, it doesn't need to be in a school AND KYLE. Kyle, please tell me the difference between something LOOKINg sexual and BEING sexual. Perception is reality. Like Carrie said, YOU might not be thinking about it sexually, but the guy who started it was. And to everyone else who SEES this happen, the sexual nature is undeniable, regardless of intention. Like I mentioned earlier, MFHS definitely has other major issues that need to be addressed. This issue is not only easier to enforce, seeing as the dances only happen a few times a year, but it also decrease the negative energy that is created by EXCESSIVE grinding.

Rent mats...let'em be...more gangsta rap. What else is there to say. Job security for teachers.

In my opinion, High school is supposed to be the best times of their lives. .. Doesnt the District have better things to worry about like kids drinking, using drugs before they go and starting fights at the dance. I've seen this happen plenty of times back in the day at dances and kids did get away with it. Parents pay for their kid's dances to have a good time and for them to enjoy what's left of their youthhood. We are all getting older and the District seems to forget they were a kid once.. they should step in their shoes and see how they like to be banned from stuff. The MFD is overreacting.. if they are that concern... maybe there should be guidelines of what kind of music is being played or add extra activities during the dances.. like dancing contests to avoid less grinding to keep dances somewhat clean

We've had the same issues here at the school dances. I love the mentality of the student mentioned in the letter, "If you don't let us do what we want, there won't be a dance." Perhaps young lady, you'll gain the credibility and maturity you seek from the rest of the adult world when you realize that just because you can make a choice to do something, it doesn't give you a license to make an inappropriate one. Would adults attending a dance (who may be married) find it acceptable if their peers started dancing in such a manner?

"Grinding" should NOT be allowed at school dances; it is absolutely not appropriate!! The article states that "students think it would be going to far...." This is why there are adults that need to make the decisions; students are minors and children and do not know or understand in full what is best for them. Teachers and parents need to be responsible and stop this behavior.

To Kathy the MFHS school board president: The bigger issues you should be addressing are: MFHS has failed to show "adequate yearly progress" in the No Child Left behind testing & the fact MFHS trails well behind it's neighboring suburbs in WKCE testing. Hamilton, G-town & Brookfield are all top schools with good rankings. Falls lags way behind at a ranking of 111th in the state. Why don't you focus on the bigger issue--teaching our kids, handling hallway violence and student theft. MFHS admin looks like a bunch of clowns that for 2 years in a row they can't show adequate progress in No Child Left Behind. Thanks Kathy and Keith for running such a great school system.

My daughter attends MFHS and while I didn't agree with the new dress code, (which I understand has now been dropped), I have to agree that grinding should not be allowed. My daughter has gone to many of the dances and has complained about all the grinding and THEN SOME that goes on, as mentioned by MF05. She also believes, as does ALUMNI STUDENT MF, that some of it is due to the type of music being played at these events. It's not music you can dance to, it's music made for grinding. She and her friends choose not to participate in grinding #1- They have self respect and class, and #2- They would prefer not to be viewed as sluts. And to the parents that say they condone this, stop trying to come off as the "cool parent". You are probably the same "parents" that are hosting drinking parties and boy/girl sleepovers and will be so shocked when your daughter is the star of the next "Girls Gone Wild" video and wondering where you went wrong. Stop trying to be your teens BFF, they have enough of those. What they need is a PARENT to set limits and teach them morals and self respect. And to ROCK, if your teens need excercise, take away the gadgets and have them shovel some driveways for the elderly in your community. And ROCSTR, the difference is that you and your wife are married and well over the legal age. And please post what bar you'll be at so we can avoid going there, nobody wants to see that!

Just another rule that the High School will enforce for a short period of time! Let's see....cellphones are not allowed.....but not only do the kids use them, but the teachers will whip out their cellphones to answer personal calls. Do they know that these kids text each other when a test is over and let ALL their friends know what was on the test? Have you ever walked the halls of the high school? Boys with their pants hanging low, making out in the halls etc; My favorite rule.....that ALL students are to have their ID's on a lanyard during the school day! That lasted approximately 3 days! Aren't there better things to worry about like......TEST SCORES? How about taking all those "meetings" about dancing and have "meetings" about how we can better educate our students? Don't worry kids.....you'll get your dancing back....because in Menomonee Falls that so called "student handbook" they have only applies for a very short period of time!

Charlie Sykes' attitude was more insulting than anything these teens are doing while dancing. His judgemental and puritanical comments have convinced me that I'm done listening to him. It's time for everyone to focus on real issues.

"...if there is a ban on grinding, the dances - Student Council fundraisers - will not be profitable. No one will come to the school dances" OH NO!!!!!!! WHAT A TRAGEDY!!! Maybe kids would be reduced to spending their time on something that MATTERS! CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN--why do anything useful, charitable, fun, intellectual, interesting, or ambitious when you could be GRINDING instead???

MF05, I would first like to say that perception is not reality. The human mind percieves based on its mental set, or, what it wants to. This is easily proved with this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahg6qcgoay4 If you want to view us as dancing because we want to mimic sex, that is what you will PERCIEVE, but the REALITY is that most of us are just dancing the way we know how. I can truthfully and honestly say that I have never been urging to take my girlfriend of 2 years home, and have sex with her, after a dance, and I have been going to MFHS dances, and GRINDING (GASP) for 3 years now. My parents have raised me with good values, and it is those values that dictate my behavior, not the way I dance. And also, regarding the negative energy at school, it's true, there is a ton of negative energy at school, but it's not because of our dancing, it is because of the lack of respect for eachother as peers, and the unwillingness to admit when something isnt working, by the administration. People can claim that this is a very important issue at our school, but until you come and experience the blatant disrespect, fighting, drugs, and theft firsthand, I and the rest of the student body at Menomonee Falls High School, will take what you say with a grain of salt. We have an opportunity to be one of the best schools in the state, but it is going to take more than changing our style of dance. It is going to take a drastic attitude change by both the students AND administration. To return the pride to this school, we need to go back to basics, and learn to get along.

My daughter had a Sweet 16 Party and I witnessed a girl on floor, guy on floor, over her, and before they could proceed to doing whatever -- I grabbed him, stopped the music and gave a 1 minute speech on what I expected. I think these mosh pits (kids gathering in a circle) lends itself to kids getting really raunchy inside the circle. They make the circles, to hide what's going on. If we keep the kids from making the pits, then the dancing really can't get that bad. If it does, you walk over with a warning. Ban the pits!!! Respect for one's body is taught at home. My daughter won't allow a guy to"grind" on her. If it's going that way, she knows how to leave the dance floor.

Yes grinding should be allowed along with sex.!!!!!!!!!!!

Shame on those parents who are arranging and encouraging their kids to go to an alternative dance, just because their kids don't like the rules. No wonder we have problems with theft, drugs and other issues at the High School! Parents are teaching the kids that they don't have to follow the rules. They can do whatever they want. How can the School Board "concentrate" on the other issues when there is a basic lack of respect for the rules? These kids are going to have a hard time in life (keeping a job, for instance) if they cannot follow rules. I don't think that asking the students to tone down their dancing is too much to ask. Kathy's description was quite specific. But there ARE other ways to dance. I teach my son to have good values, but if your daughter is rubbing her genitalia all over him at a dance and you're okay with that, don't blame me when he gets her pregnant!

What about bumping?

KL, do you believe our founding fathers were wrong? The 13 colonies didn't like the tea tax, stamp tax, lack of representation, etc so they started their own country. Children will emulate what they see. That story got engrained into their minds countless times. Now they are trying to do it. I realize it isn't as on a large of the scale but the teaching that you have to just deal with it when things seem unfair doesn't really work in this country because if it wasn't for a direct breaking of that teaching we would still be under the Union Jack.

I say let them dance. When you start encorporating so many rules to a school function nobody attends. It happened in my son's high school. They banned so much music nobody eventually went. The last dance he attended, Jr. Homecoming, there were about 50 kids at the dance. What a bust. He said the music they played was like being at an old persons wedding. There's just no interest to attend a dance with so many rules, music banning, dance banning, etc. Rules are good but you can have too many.

To all of the parents who are wondering "what the big deal is" about this issue: as several posts stated, this form of extreme grinding constitutes a legal form of sexual assault according to Wisconsin statutes. Moral and ethical issues aside, this is a legal problem that the Menomonee Falls School District must resolve. Can you honestly tell me that if you hosted a house party where this type of activity was permitted and you were threatened with a lawsuit by a guest's parents that you would not think twice about it in the future? Another issue I haven't heard mentioned: if a male or female athlete was charged with sexual assault as a result of being involved with this activity, what tune would their parents be singing then? Please don't fault the school district with their doing their duty to protect the minors in their care at school functions while still making every effort to provide a fun activity. Blame our society for forcing this kind of controversy, not the school district!

Honestly, this is ridiculous. Just because your kid's grinding, doesn't mean they're going to have sex. Oh, and some of the kids who i KNOW are sexually active, aren't the ones grinding. I agree with other posters who said that the school has MUCH bigger problems than to worry about stupid dirty dancing at their low budget functions. Ugh!

sexual assault? you have got to be freaking kidding me! this is getting funny...

Grinding should be allowed, I am a teenager know that these dances don't result in sex. They way it gets to sex is completely different, and can be combated by being a figure in your child's life and not shirking your responsibilites on the school because they already have enough on their plate. Wake up and teach your child your values instead of forcing rules. If you teach them why they will be more receptive then if you say, "You can't do this."

What you fail to understand Kimberly of Waukesha is that its ridiculous this kind of behavior even ends up in code. Why do you think it ends up there? You may be techincally correct, but its sad it even has to come to that.

Rocstr: Have a great weekend!!! You are adults, and you are entitled. Regarding this article: It is only half of the story. Yes, grinding is an issue. Also an issue is the dress code; thin straps on formal gowns are not allowed? Seriously?? The school makes more rules but doesn't enforce those they already have. I am not opposed to banning grinding but first we need to enforce the rules consistantly that are already in force. Not doing so only makes the kids push the envelope more and more. Make rules clear and concise and they will be followed, allow them to be bent repeatedly and they are totally ignored. MFHS has how many pricipals- and they can't enforce the rules as they are!!! When I was at MFHS we only had one principal, and we knew right from wrong as well as the consenquences.

We took God out of the schools, taught evolution, and now we wonder why our kids are acting like animals?

Because of a few stuffed shirts, my son and his friends will miss his one and only prom. I am irrated as a parent because he can never go back and redo this. This juniors and seniors are making a stand and not going to attend the turnabout or the prom to send a message. I think it is sad that has parents, we can not allow our children to express themselves in a controlled enviroment. Remember how when we were young, Elvis and dirty dancing were going to coruput us and cause all sorts of problems. Well low and behold, he we are all being responsible audults with children of our own. Imagine that!!! The right and wrong of our children's introduction to sexual decisions begin at home! If we do not teach them, we are supposed to believe that putting rules in place like this are going to teach them. Shame on all of you for not letting them express themselves. Guess none of you remember being a teenager....let's keep telling them not to do this and that, because we all know how that works. The less we like it as parents and teachers, the more they want to do it. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!!!!! WE the parents are creating this situation. It begins at home people!!!!!

I don't understand why the heck this is such a big deal. So far all i have heard from complaining is from parents of freshmen who haven't even attended the dances yet. So, my question is how you can comment on this issue and try to stop it even though you have never been to one of the dances or even have seen what has gone on there.

Matt of Eagle-I'm not sure why you said I, "fail to understand" the point that I made. I am FULLY aware of how sad it is that laws need to be written to address social problems. While there is not a law, that I"m aware of, that has been written "specifically" to address grinding the point is that physical contact between minors (or adults for that matter) can easily cross lines that lead to problems of sexual assault. I know a lot of people don't agree with that and think that is a result of people over reacting. However: I'll tell you that I am quite positive that there are students that feel that way. In fact for every group of students that believe grinding is, "no big deal" I'm sure there's at least one that believes someone that grinded on them crossed a line. Shouldn't we prevent situations that set even one student up to be victimized? Can some students handle grinding without running home to have sex? Sure! Can some students handle grinding without someone feeling assualted? Of course! Are there going to be exceptions to every situation? YES! We are not talking about EVERY student here. But it is the school's job to keep all the students protected when at a school function. That is what they are attempting to do.

And people wonder why anybody with cash sends their kids to private school. We have a crappy school system with failing test scores, a huge structural deficit,and clueless administrators and school board members who don't know what to do. And this is the issue that takes up all of this months time and energy. Why don't we just let the kids smoke and do dope - all kids do that too - just like bumping and grinding. Why not let them just run wild, unsupervised? Are you all nuts? No wonder girls get knocked up at earlier and earlier ages.

Dave, i agree with you about some of the things that you say though, but how can you even think about comparing dancing to smoking weed... Being high, and dancing have nothing to do with each other. Also, just because there's dancing like this, doesn't mean girls are going to get knocked up. Just because you see that kind of stuff on the TV, doesn't mean that it's true... People really aren't that stupid to do that, and if they are, then that's there problem. The students of MFHS shouldn't be punished because of one couple.

THE DANCE IS CANCLED SO EVERYONE CAN SHUT UP

I hope prom gets cancelled, too. Let the parents of the kids who are too good to follow the rules deal with the headache of figuring out an alternative dance for that, too. It's too bad that a few bad apples ruin it for everyone. The kids who are good, decent people who don't think it's appropriate to want to have public sex with their clothes on should TAKE BACK their school!

I get that people are offended or appalled by grinding in high school dances, but can anyone really offer a better alternative that will actually catch on? I'm just not sure kids in high school really know other ways to dance. I was at a dance at Waukesha West last night and kids were grinding the whole time, even to Miley Cyrus! (However I should mention the chaperones never tried to break us up so I don't know their policy on it). If somebody can offer a new way of dancing that goes with our music today I'd love to hear it, but until then no one will want to go to a dance with bad music or restrictions.

Funny this story mentioned grinding, but failed to mention the whole story. Chapperones were upset when the kids danced to "Jump Around", shut down the music and lectured the kids. This is what happens when rules are written on an as you go basis. Every Badger game does the Jump Around- and the do not stop the game for a out of touch parent to start to rant and rave. Furthermore, when a young couple pays $40 or more to attend a dance- they deserve to dance. I wonder why no one is asking why the price is so high? Where does all that money go? Something smells like a rat, and it isn't just some up tight parent who doesn't have a clue.

Leave the kids alone....Dancing is an art form and an expression of speech. I am in my 40's and have been dancing since high school. I love to dance, and even at my age, once I'm on the dance floor I don't exit until the end of the night. When I dance (just as I did in my younger years), I may be "perceived" to be dancing provocative, but when I am on the dance floor there is a sense of freedom for me to express myself and let loose. Now this is in contrast to how I live my every day life. I have been with my husband for over 20 years, and my child who is at the high school (and "Grinds" because that is how their era dances), has never had sex, is an excellent student and a wonderful person with values. Dancing "provocatively" at one or two dances a year DOES NOT determine if your child will have sex or not. How you raised that child at home instilling your values will determine that result. Let the kids dance and have their time to "let loose", whether it be rock & roll, ballroom dancing (which can be very provocative), salsa, or grinding. Let's address the tougher, more important issues at the high school.

The definition of grinding.............sexual assault!

I didn't realize that grinding meant penatration

Most of you who are commenting haven't a clue of the excessive nature of grinding taking place between some of the students. That is the problem they are trying to curtail. There's really not a big deal being made about the way the vast majority of students are dancing. The administrative team at the high school is brutal and none of them will make a rule and stick to it, that's why as many commented, the rules last for two or three days. The trash needs to be eliminated from that school system, not put in a room with their friends for in school suspension. Many of the teachers are also part of the problem, especially the ones dropping f-bombs in class discussion to be "cool" and allowing students to not follow any rules. I too hope prom gets cancelled from the simple fact that a large majority of students and parents in that district don't believe rules apply to them. More so however, I hope the administrator team is cleaned out after this school year.

All I can say is "wow"! Why do I want my kids to continue getting educated in MF? Sounds like HS is a scary place to send my kids where they have to fend for themselves in a pack of wolves - students and faculty. I almost feel pained to send him into that environment. My oldest son is a 6th grader at North. Unlike elementary school, I have never felt welcome there and I know other parents don't either, this "feeling of unwelcomeness" I'm sure carries on into HS and that may be one of the reasons that parents don't attend and chaperone more. I'm sure this grinding dance style is coming to light more becasue of younger students atteding the HS. I have faith that all persons who need to can come together and define a policy that is a "happy medium". Make it no contact grinding or something. What is the common theme among all these posts is that there is a major divide between students, parents and faculty in MF. How will that get fixed?

People need to accept the changes in dance. Going to prostestant reformation, many religions banned dancing all together.n In the 1920s parents were upset with Jazz music and dancing at speakeasies. In the 1950s, the parents that grew up with jazz thought rock and roll and dances as innocent as the jitterbug were bad. Them 70s with disco. Each generation has it's new way to dance and new style of associated music. Why should history repeat itself? Like your parents eventually accepted your dance styles, accept ours. At my school dances, gring goes on. It is only sexual if you make it sexual. All we try to do is have fun in an innocent way and the conservative (not open to change) values of school officals, the supervisors of the dances and parents need to realize that in 20 years from now, dancing and music will change again and that instead of stunting progress we should embrace it.

you all fail.

Grinding belongs in the car in the parking lot the way it always has been.

This is really out of control. I agree with the one who said about test scores and not making annual yearly progress. Where is the school board? They should be looking at the high school administration and how since the principal came to MF from Homestead there has been no control or respect--he needs to go and take his assistant with him who spends more time at Catholic Memorial than MF.

How many principals does the HS have? Why did the student council embezzel money from the funds raised from dances? Why did the Administration do nothing about it? How can the school charge $60 per person for prom? Is this another way for the student council members to grant themselves another $1500 scholarship? To make the budget the District is thinking about discontinuing sports for middle schools- cancel a contract for one or several principals at the HS and the budget can be achieved. Things have never been so out of control here in the Falls schools.

There is nothing wrong with us grindin as long as we aren't having sex on the dance floor. Obviously parents aren't going to like what we are doing because it's different from the "good old days". I guarentte that parents have always had problems with the stuff kids do because it's different. Well they need to get over it.

Why don't they teach these students how to dance in gym class. They could teach them how to do the jerk, the mashed potato, the bird dog, the locomotion, the swim, the bristol stomp, the shimmy, the hustle, etc. Save the grinding for the lakefront while they wait for the submarine races to start.

As a graduate of MFHS, and an older brother to two students who will be attending the high school for the next few years, I am justifiably disturbed at the current condition of the high school. On the subject of school dances, I am particularly disappointed with the way the administration handled the outcries against the dancing style of the current generation. Canceling turnabout? Did that actually happen? If "grinding" was the impetus for that decision, something needs to change. I attended every school dance, and danced the same way everyone else did. Each dance was a lot of fun, and those memories are inexorably tied to my experience at the high school as a whole. Will my younger brothers be deprived of this experience? You can't change how people dance, history has shown us that, and as far as I know, grinding has not created any kind of sex-related problems at MFHS or any other school. What data suggests that grinding caused an increase in the number of kids who have sex? Is there actually any evidence at all that it is harmful in any way? It is my opinion that the disapproval of some parents should not destroy the fun for everyone. If you have a problem with it, you can force your own kids to stay home. Sure, they might be mad at you, but at least you're not trying to impose your will on the rest of us. The uproar this has caused is disgusting.

front to front dancing? really? alot worse stuff happens front to front. i say let the dance be

As a student involved with the planning the alternative dance, I have a few things to say. We have sold over 200 tickets to our dance. There will be grinding. There will not be drugs and alcohol and we WILL have a wonderful time. Thank you for being so concerned, but it's not necessary. Eighteen adults will be chaperoning, putting us around a 13:1 ratio tonight. That security is BETTER than what our school dances have. I think we have gone over and above wherever we sought necessary and to see so many posts reflecting on how terrible us students are for standing up for what we believe in - I say SHAME ON ALL OF YOU. Let us remember high school as a great experience, not as a negative one. All you have done is attempt to tear us apart, but hear me when I say this. After tonight, realize that our voices HAVE in fact been heard. Thank you.

in middle school its all about how u look and what u do to get populare! this is happening because girls are ether watching someone do this and people tell us its cool and that we should try it..girls only do it mostly to inpress guys we like..im not one of those people though.i got to the dance and this is what i see.u should let them do the grinding cuz if u dont..everyone is going to start lieing to there parents and go to a guys house and guess what they will do..im sure u who what..so let them dance..if not they will lie to u and set u up..teenagers like me are becomeing very smart..u could go and drop them off at the house they said that they were going to and

This is a touchy one. As a 22 year old, I'm on the fence. It was just a couple years ago that I was "grinding" albeit, not like some of these MTV/BET wannabe's, but we were still grinding. Back in 2002-2006 "popping" as they call it now wasn't all that popular. I had a great time. Lost the V-Card at 16, and was a normal (for Waukesha West standards) teenager with the drinking and pot. I'm a systems analyst at a very large corp. right now, making quite a name/career for myself. I turned out fine - for the most part, lol. The problem with that, and while it sounds conceited, as that "kids these days" aren't like "me" - at least the majority of them. How I made it out unscratched is a mystery, and just because I did doesn't mean the other "kids" will now. I can definitely see why parents SHOULD be concerned. If my parents saw how I danced with the girls they would have kicked my ass. It's a 2 way street - it's not about guys wanting control over girls - it's because hormones are going nuts, and everyone (mostly) in high school is trying to get laid. It's a hard decision to make, as well as a hard point to fight. "Yes, we should be allowed to 'express' ourself and have 'fun." is not the right attitude. And the senior that was posting on this board earlier is an idiot. High School isn't about FUN. It's about preparing your for the next step in life - whether you go to college, or face the "real world." ... This should be interesting.

Im a high schooler in Boston, and this has beeen goin on since the early 90s here due to the large number of Carribean kids. Even some of my teachers grinded when they where in high school its happened so long in Boston. Here there really are not any limits on it and even at my private school, ike every other private and public school in Massachusetts and Rhode Island has no problem with it, it just happens and kids have lots of pictures of themselves grinding on facebook. Im surprised how much reaction and concern there is elsewhere and how new it is. A chaperone at my dance who is my football coach watched me dance as a girl bent over and had no problem with it, he graduated from my school in 1997 and said when he was in high school teachers were much more strict about it than they are now. It seems to me that it is mostly older, white parents concerned with this. I go to an all boys school I am friends with a lot of girls, I grind with them and then we talk and socialize and hangout like it's not a big deal because it's not. If you grind you grind...I honestly don't understand the fuss. IN other countries people get much more explicit and in some cultures in America certainly a lot that I know its fine. The private school league I'm in is a bout 75% white but grinding is prevalent and accepted however, minorities grind more explicit and its simply accepted. Massachusetts also has one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates in the country.

Those dances are just dances it leads to nothing at all